Some people leave home and come to college unsure of what they want to do for their major and career, but that was never me. I’ve known where I’ve wanted to take my life since grade school and have been very passionate about it. When I was bullied in middle school and felt like an outsider in high school, my plans and dreams for the rest of my life were the light at the end of the tunnel. Overtime this assurance in what I wanted from life became more of a character trait than a hope for the future. When I first set foot on UT’s campus I was more confident in myself than ever.
And yet, in the beginning of my first semester a critical series of events occurred that left me at odds with my future. For the first time in my life, I was insecure about my major and what I wanted to do in life. I got to a place mentally and emotionally where I didn’t leave my dorm room for anything more than class for about two or three days. It felt like I had failed, and that I wasn’t going to be good or strong enough for the dream I have always strived toward. I started to convince myself that my admission to the University had to have been a mistake, and the self image I had built of myself was a facade. Academic interest was the sole place in my life I had always been undoubtedly confident in, and once this occurred, I felt the foundations of myself crumble.
Although I had only been at UT for a couple months, I was fortunate enough to have already made a close group of friends through Zeta. As soon as these girls realized I wasn’t acting like myself they showed up at my door. I didn’t even have to ask and they were just there. We watched TV and ate dinner in my room one night and just talked about nothing for hours. I think that’s the moment when I realized how much this sisterhood is going to impact and shape the rest of my life.
I don’t think my closest friends or even family knew how deeply I was questioning myself in this time. Nonetheless, my sisters made me feel reassured in myself. It was so astonishing to me how the light of their personalities absolutely changed my perspective. There was the friend that made me stop feeling sorry for myself, the one to make me laugh, the one to hug me and the one to rebuild my self confidence. I have never in my life experienced friendships that were so supportive and that formed so quickly before. Even girls in Zeta that I wasn’t especially close with encouraged and believed in me. My sisters always make me live in the present, which is something I have always struggled with. I don’t think I would have come out of that challenging time as strong as I am now without my Zeta sisters.
ZLAM!
Julia Vastano PC '16
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